Hasan al-Mu'min

what a bum!

2004-11-14T21:14:00.000-08:00

I totally bummed it today:

i slept

i prayed

i ate

i drank

i fussed at my brothers and sisters

i slept some more

and now i'm updating.

Wow...I just realized that up until this very moment my day was completely pointless (except for the praying part of course). What's left to do? I don't know I guess help Ahmed look for a wife. This one brother that I know named Ahmed wants to get married so bad ma sha'Allah. We made a deal, I would help him find a wife and he would show me around Egypt (his home country). It's so funny because he wants a convert-wife: he says he's always dreamed of marrying someone like that. I don't know why, but that's awesome he wants to help ground some new muslimah. He's a really nice guy so if there is anyone scanning this blog, and if you a muslimah convert, contact me because I know a good muslim who is looking for the right wife =)!

Anyway, the weekend's almost over. Tomorrow's another day at work. Hopefully I can get another application in. I actually know I will be able to because I talked to this guy and he's all excited about me calling him because he wants to lower his monthly payments. He told me that he was so stoked that I could help him out with that. Hopefully I will be able to. It's funny because when I was trying to explain the programs my company has available to help him out with his situation he said "uh dude...I don't understand...if you can call back on monday....all that business stuff i don't understand....but my girlfriend will know what your talking about...but if you can help me out...that's awesome." haha...it was so funny.

and I'm still trying to grow my beard...haha. I will do it insha'Allah. I really think that it is good to do. I mean...if it's the sunnah of rasool Allah sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam this should be sufficient motivation to grow it (right?) ...even if some think it to be only mustahab. I personally feel it is wajib but allahu 'alim. Anyway... I'm still stuggling with this staying on top of my updating thing, but i'll get it eventually, insha'Allah. wal hamduillahi rabbil 'alameen.

2004-11-14T00:02:00.000-08:00

don't expect many more pictures! next posting will be when i grow my beard some more, insha'Allah

'Id Mubarak

2004-11-13T21:21:00.000-08:00

Al hamduillahi rabb il 'alameen wa salaatu wa salaamu 'ala sayyid ilmursaleen wa 'ala aalihi wa sahbihi wa awlia'ihi ajma'een. Ash hadu an laa ilaha ill Allahu wahdahu laa sharikallahu wa ash hadu anna Muhammadun 'abduhu wa rasoolhu. wal khair al huda huda muhammadan sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam. wal khairul kitaabul qur'aan ilkareem.

amma ba'ad:

What a wonderful 'Id al-fitr. Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala gave us so much to be thankful for. He subhanahu wa ta'aala gave us life. He subhanahu wa ta'aala gave us the blessed month in which we could earn tons of reward to offset our evil deeds. He subhanahu wa ta'aala gave us the blessed night which is better than a thousand nights. He subhanahu wa ta'aala gave us the day of 'Id. For the mu'min, insha'Allah, He subhanahu wa ta'aala has bestowed hope of forgiveness and tranquility upon his heart. What can we do to thank Him subhanahu wa ta'aala? How many favors upon favor have we received? How minor are our day to day issues in the grand scheme of things when we have the love of Allah, favors from Allah, and hope of entrance into jannah.

amma ba'ad:

For the muttaquun: Allah is true, His books are true, the angels are true, the propets are true, al jannah is true and an naar is true (a'udhubillah). The place of contentment, which is better than all places in all the worlds, is a place where we shall never be shamed and a place where we shall have the privilege of joy in all that we do (wal hamduillah). It will be granted to the muttaqeen because their taqwa will have kept them on the straight path. 'Id is a day to reflect on these things because if we have held fast the rope of Allah during Ramadhan, our chances of getting into jannah, if we should pass away today, are better than ever, insha'Allah. His divine plan of increasing our tawqa through fasting, during a month in which we receive most reward, is not an accident (astaghfirullah). It is His way of ensuring that on this blessed day ('Id), we can celebrate the fact that we have guarded ouselves and have heightened our imaan to its apex and it is on this day that our tawaqa is made manifest.

amma ba'ad:

And on this day, the most feared and hated of places in all the worlds is far away from us. Insha'Allah, an naar, which burns flesh and is hotter than anything that we can imagine, is something that is remote from our thoughts. Humiliated and disgraced are those who do not follow the way of Allah, reject His signs and don't acknowledge His favors. Through our fasting during Ramadhan, al mu'minoon wal mu'minat have their faces illuminated with hope and their foreheads marked with the signs of prostration. Thoughts and fear of the deepest, darkest, hottest and most hated of places, which is the punishment of al kafireen wal mushrikeen, is replaced with dhikr Allah. At-tawheed has ceased us and, in turn, we sincerely call on Allah and bear witness that our prayers, our fasting, our life and our death are for His sake and no other.

amma ba'ad:

On this day, we celebrate the gifts of Allah: His Word (al quran), His Messenger (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam), the sunnah, and the knowledge of Him (subhanahu wa ta'aala) and His unity. We ask Allah to forgive us our sins, to ever increase our imaan, to soften our hearts to His name, to increase our love for the prophet, and to increase our love for one another. ameen. wal hamduillahi rabb il-'alameen.

All's well

2004-10-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

Let's see...what have I been up to? Well for one I'm still looking for a job. How depressing!! Insha'Allah, when it is time for me to find a job i will find one. I just wish that that I could find one though...I would make it a lot easier for my mother who is stuggling so hard right now. I feel so bad about being here free loading. I have a feeling that Allah subhannahu wa ta'aala will bless me because insha'Allah ta'aala He sees that I want to not only help myself but her also.

One good thing about the whole thing is that being home a lot has given me a chance to get better situated as far as establishing regular times at which I read the Qur'an. I guess maybe it's part of Allah ta'aala's plan for me. On the surface, it's been tough for me not having any income, but it's allowed me to cultivate my imaan and become a better muslim. Ma sha' Allah, I have taught all of my younger brothers and sisters to read arabic! It's so funny because the other week I taught my youngest brother how to read the basmallah and he's walking around all the time saying "bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem!" Haha..he's such a character. It makes me feel good too because they always tell me that they are happy that I'm there. But my baby brother, he's off track from his school. Since he's off of school he is usually home during the times that jummah is. He hates when I tell him "let's go!" hahaha. But he comes anyway. I think it's better for him too because he never goes to a church even though my mom's says she's christian now. I don't know.

Talking about my mother, it's so weird. Lately she's been saying stuff that I have never heard a christian say. Like for one she says that she's sure that Rasool Allah (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam) is a messenger of God. She puts a christian twist on it always. For example, she always says "well...we know that the Qur'an was influenced by his (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam) cultural biases and that you have to take that into account when reading the Qur'an" but when i tell her that "God is not influenced by his (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam) culture and if the Qur'an is God's verbatim words then you can't say that that it is culturally influenced." It really confuses me when she says stuff like that. Don't get me wrong...she is not wanting to become muslim...but i think that she's trying to reconcile my beliefs with her own... but...I'm not sure what's she's trying to do. Allah knows best i guess.

Or like she'll say something about the prophet (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam)that is very negative and then I will tell her the truth of the matter and then she will get mad and say "see...this is the problem i have with muslims...they try to shy away from the facts of the matter" even though i just told her what's the truth of the situation. I don't know. My mom is complicated. Al-hamdulillah though besides all of this stuff at home, i've gotten a chance to meet a few brothers at the masjid. They have really helped me as far continuing pursuit of knowledge. They told me about a good website that has a lot of useful info. I'll paste it here in case anyone want to see it for themselves: http://www.qss.org/. It helps me out a lot because it allows me to hear things and talk during those times when i need it most. Also it is a website that gives knowledge on a lot of things. Haha...i sound like an advertisement. Okay...i'm babbling now...I will keep my blog up to date from time to time insha'Allah.

2004-09-17T22:34:00.000-07:00

Bismillahi Ir-Rahmani Ir-Raheem

This is my first entry since moving back to the LA area. Ma sha' Allah my little brother can read arabic now...with the help of his big bro and a little motivation from Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala. It's been so hard for me to get to the masjid every friday. The car that my mom was supposed to have given me is actually her car that she lets me drive. I'm so scared to drive it though because the wheels need to be aligned. I can tell because everytime I drive it the car seems to be steering itself to the right. I don't know ....It's a crazy old car. I call her "Ol' betsy" haha. Well...I still haven't found a job yet. I'm so sad man because I feel so useless. I really miss davis too...I've been trying so hard to look for a job here I hardly have any time in the day for anything. I need to call my friends and say salaam to them to let them know that I'm still thinking about them. I miss them a lot. I've met a couple of brothers at the masjid here though. Ma sha' Allah they are very good and pious brothers and I feel that they will really be able to help me in both my pursuit of knowledge of as-salafiyyah as well as helping me to streghthen my imaan by being the right kind of associates that I should have. I really need to find a job so I can get my apartement soon insha'Allah because I would like to start having dhikr sessions at my apartment like I my roomate and I used to. Well...let's see...what else...I guess that's it.

Bismillah Ir-Rahman Ir-Raheem

2004-08-25T03:30:00.000-07:00

What a curve ball life can throw you. Have you ever been to a point where you figure that you have it all figured out? Well that's how I've been feeling the past couple of days. I'm pretty much ready to go back to Los Angeles if need be (or not if I get that job over in the bay), I'm discovering a approach to Islam that I think is more in line with what I feel Islam truly is, and I realized that I'm pretty much over the girl that told me that she wasn't ready for marriage just yet.

These were some major issues that I have been dealing with these past couple of months. Today I realized something that is not so cool however, that I think my feelings are growing for a girl that for whom they shouldn't. I don't know why, when, how, or from where this happened, but it sucks, especially because I realized that not only am I not really ready for marriage, but from the looks of it, I will never be around her long enough to figure out if I would ever have a chance. "Asi es la vida!" *translation: "that's life"* is probably what my mom would say. I guess she would be right. It's not right for me to have these feelings anyway because if I was doing the proper and islamic thing (as far as not having so much close interaction with girls who are not mahram to me) I would not have to deal with this problem. Astghfirullah!!
I have to make du'a that these feelings go away and ask Allah to help me, insha'Allah. It's so funny how things work out sometimes though, and how things just dawn on you, subhan Allah. I guess I will never understand the complexity of my brain.

Beside dwelling on this issue, I went over my friends house and watched a movie tonight. We watched the butterfly effect. It was a good movie. We also went swimming and just hung out talking. It was cool because it helped me forget, for the slightest bit of time, that I was going to be leaving. I'm going to miss that guy...he's a real good friend of mine and I hope he has a lot of success in his life. Insha'Allah we will stay in contact for a long time. Let's see...what else is going on in my life?...I guess that's it so I'm gonna go now... what a bum huh?

I really hope I get this job

2004-08-21T20:38:00.000-07:00

Ma sha' Allah (what God has willed)! I received an email today (well...it was sent to me on Wednesday...but we'll just pretend like I received it today) in which a human resources officer for this really big company sent me some unfortunate news...that a position that I had applied for was already filled. She e-mailed me to that effect but informed me that there is another position that she feels that I would be a prime candidate for. Al-hamdulillah (glory to God) for this opportunity and for Him letting this chance come down when I needed it the most. Insha'Allah (God willing) she receives the phone message I left for her on today...but I'm going to call her first thing monday morning to let her know what I am interested. I'm going make du'a (a prayer supplication) that Allah opens up a way for me and lets me get this job. I talked to Yasmine about this and told her how excited I was because if I get this job, insha'Allah, I'm going to try to move to her city. I really fell in love with the city (Walnut Creek) when I saw it and would love to move there. Insha'Allah everything will work itself out: I will get the job, move to the city, and live happily ever after...haha.
God is good (al-hamdulillah)

I'm going to be leaving Davis soon

2004-08-19T19:04:00.000-07:00

As-salaamu 'alaykum yaaaa my blog!

I'm really bummed because I'm going to be leaving back to Los Angeles soon. I've been thinking about it a lot about it lately: about how I don't have a job, about how I don't have a car, about how I don't have an apartment; how crazy. One good thing though is that when I go back to LA I'm going to have a new start. It's pretty cool because I've decided to start wearing thobs instead of the type of clothing I wear now; it's better for modesty sake. My buddy Shoib also suggested a way for me to even out my beard....so I guess I'm going to take him up on his advise. I really wish I had a full beard! Insha'Allah it will even out. I've been reading up on something that has really interested me. I've been reading about it for a while and it's called salafiyyah. It really is interesting to me and I was considering becoming salafi. Insha'Allah we will see. I guess its by the will of Allah that I'm starting to give it strong consideration now, especially since many brothers at the masjid in LA (king fahd masjid) are salafi. What else?....I guess that's it for now and insha'Allah ta'aala I'll keep my blog updated from time to time.

WOW...I'm old

2004-08-09T12:28:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was my birthday. I got the most wonderful gift: a really cool audio version of the Qur'aan. A couple of my friends went in on it and bought it for me. It was so nice of them. I'm really glad Allah blessed me with them as friends. I feel really bad though because I haven't been able to call some of them because my phone is on the fritz. But if you guys are reading this: SUBHAN ALLAH for your friendships Shireen, Lamisse, Somayya, and Abdolhossein. May Allah reward you guys with many bounties. Your gift really helped me to renew my faith because it came at a time when I was getting weak in my imaan. Ma sha' Allah, you guys new just what I needed and I want to tell you guys that it is truly a blessing. Thank you so much.
I went camping this weekend also, ma sha' Allah it was really nice. Come to think about it, it was the first time that I had ever been camping. Wow, I never would have thought that on my 22nd birthday I would be in mountains of Lake Tahoe. We went hiking, and swimming and was just in general roughing it. I felt really gross at the end though because there were no shower facilities. I didn't take a shower from the August 6-8. Ugh! Its all good though. Oh I also played soccer for the first time since I was like 7; it was pretty cool because even though I suck at it I still had a lot of fun. Being there this weekend was really nice because It allowed me to get back into the regular habit of salat. I'm telling you, this weekend was full of baraka. Allah is so good to me, I just wish sometimes that I could be a better muslim to show him how much I appreciate how many chances he has given me get right, and get better grounded in my faith.
I'm going to try to be better insha'Allah.
You know something, when I think about it, I kept getting alot of ayat this weekend that were telling me to straighten up. First it was the Qur'aan gift, then on the way driving to Lake Tahoe, Abdolhossein happened to find a random CD inside of his music CD collection and it was of a khutba, it was really good because it talked about how thinking that you're too sinful for Allah to forgive you is the ultimate sin of all because you believe that there's a limit on his mercy and his forgiveness. It also talked about ways to guard your imaan. Ma sha' Allah. How cool was that. While I was there, having alot of muslims around just made you feel like being better (like making sure to pray on time) and when I got back, my roommate, Baqer, gave me this really cool gift: it was like a velvet box, and when you opened it up it had two silver tablets. On one table was ayatul kursi and on the other was some other ayah. My weekend, as I said before was full of signs ma sha' Allah! I thank Allah for each and every one of them.

What did I do today?

2004-07-23T01:45:00.000-07:00

Classes...homework...and sleep. I guess that's it.

Same-ol'-same-ol'

2004-07-21T17:45:00.000-07:00

I didn't update my blog yesterday...yeah...that's pretty sad I know! I'm such a slacker. haha. Anyway, today was sooooo hot! I felt like you were in an oven or something. Having to endure hot weather, however, was not the least is the least of my troubles because I got my poli sci exams back to day and I didn't do as well as I thought. It looks like I'm going to have to write those optional papers. I don't know...apparently if you write the papers you score for the midterm ends up counting as less of a percent of your final grade. I guess I should take advantage of this opportunity. Yeah... I guess that's what I'll do...but I sooooooooooo don't feel like writing any papers. Insha'Allah I'll get through it. I was very proud of myself today because I didn't fall asleep in class, alhamdulillah. I guess that something that I shouldn't do anyway, huh?...but I usually do. Oh well...I guess talking about politics and stuff like that just doesn't interest me. I like my teachers though...there really nice. Uh...let's see...what else did I do today?...oh yeah I was Lamisse and Yasmine again. Alhamdulillah, I'm like running into her all over the place as of late! It's really cool because when I leave from here I probably won't see her much, unless I get a job in the bay or something. Who knows, maybe I will insha'Allah. It was really funny too because I met one brother on the bus. He saw me carrying my Qur'an and reading it. He was like "as-salaamu 'alaykum" but at first I didn't hear him because I was reading some ayat. He was like, "as-salaamu 'alaykum" again and then I realized what said and that he was talking to me. Ma sha'Allah I like meeting other Muslims. I actually see him on the bus alot but I never thought to say anything to him because I don't know him, and I would have never assumed that he was Muslim. He said his name was Kareem so, insha'Allah, from now on when I see him I'll give him salaams. I guess that's it for now.

Today was a good day

2004-07-19T21:02:00.000-07:00

Bismillahi ir-Rahmani ir-Raheem

Today was pretty cool. Didn't do much in the morining. I prayed, got on the computer for a few hours, and then went back to sleep like around nine. Needless to say, I was a waist of space between the time of salatul fajr and salatul dhuhr. I became more productive, alhamdulillah, a little later in the day. I saw yasmine after so very long. I reallly missed her. She and I ate at our favorite place (SAM'S) and then hung out at borders. While there, my mom called and got me soooooooo upset. Allah gave me the will to not sound snappy at her though, even though she was talking pretty badly about Islam. She wouldn't let me talk at all. She kept asking me all these question and then putting her two cents in on what she just asked me, and then, when I tried to explain myself to her, she moved onto the next thing she wanted to hound me about. Masha'Allah though, she trying to be a mother. I just really wish I knew a way though to discuss Islam with her without sounding disrespectful of anything like that. Insha'Allah, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala will open up a way for me to show her the truth of Islam. May be Yasmine is right when she told me that my mom just needs to have me around her more often so that that she can see what Islam has done for me as a person. In a couple of months, when I move back to LA, insha'Allah, I'll try to live close to her so she can see what's going on with me and how I've committed my life to Allah ta'ala. Any way, I love my mom regardless. I felt kinda bad though about getting upset at her, because Yasmine, Somayya, Deval, Huma, and I saw a movie. This movie was really sad because the mother of this girl, the star of the movie, was so distant from her that she never showed up to any of her dance performances, and when the girls father died, didn't even bother to console her. It made me think that, Subhan Allah, my mom is hounding me about Islam, not because she's trying to be vicious, but because she cares and she wants to try to lead me to what she feel is the proper way (Christianity). I am confident that Islam is the right way, but seeing that movie made me be appreciative of my mom and the of the fact that she really does care. After I pray tonight I will ask Allah (subhanahu wa ta'ala) for some sort of reconciliation between my and my mothers religious persuasion and hope that I will be able to find a right way to talk to her about it.
Du'a asking guidance for parents: "O Allah, the one who guides to the straight path, I ask you to send peace and blessings upon the last Messenger (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam), his family, his companions, and all those who follow him, until the day of judgment. I ask you, by the light which is your being, and on behalf of your graciousness, to extent to us, the believing men and women, forgiveness for the haughtiness, ingratitude, and rebelliousness in which we've enveloped ourselves. I seek refuge in You from the punishment of the sins that I have charged upon my soul. I seek refuge in You from myself, Jinn, Shayateen, and men, and I ask you to help me stay strong in my will to resist them. Allah, have mercy upon my parents, especially my mother, for they, by your will, nurtured and loved me until I was old enough to stand on my own two feet. And for my mother, who bore the great burden of pregnancy so that I might live and who always sought the best for me, O Allah have mercy on her, love her, and nurture her, as she has done for me. O Most Merciful, O Most Holy, O Most High, O Most Compassionate, O the one in whose hands is my sole, give them guidance and help them to understand the truth, insha'Allah, and give contentment to one who prostrates to you in prayer as you have commanded and revers you above himself, by allowing me to die knowing that my parents were inspired and guided because of your mercy, insha'Allah. Ameen.

Another Day

2004-07-18T15:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know what was my problem last night. I couldn't sleep!! I kept tossing and turning and having really wierd dreams that I can't even remember now. Crazy huh! Besides that though I missed morning prayer today because one brother told me that he would call me, insha'Allah, because he usually goes to the masjid in the morinings. He said that he would call me in the morning and take me and for that reason I didn't bother to set my alarm. Doah!! He didn't call me though! I don't know what happened to him. Iinsha'Allah, I will call him later to find out what happened. I know that I'm rambling aimlessly but just so you know I'm going to cut my hair in a few minutes. Uhm...let's see....what else. I guess that's it for now...oh wait...insha'Allah I'm going to have lunch with yasmine on monday. I haven't really talked to her much at all since summer school started. I really am going to miss her, and somayya, and chirine when I leave to wherever I'm going to go when I graduate. Insha'Allah we'll stay in contact.

first blog experience

2004-07-17T21:40:00.000-07:00

wow...i've never had a blog before. I guess it's pretty cool. I'm not sure what to say but today was a really cool muslim picnic at hagan park. I felt really bad though because when I was setting out the food for the sisters, Sawsan came up to me and asked me for three plates. I told her that I couldn't give it to her because there were a lot of sisters waiting for food and were standing in line. What a dork...I felt bad b/c she like totally hate me now. Well...she probably doesn't hate me, but I do feel bad. Insha'Allah she doesn't hate me too much. Besides that though, the the picnic was really cool, alhamdulillah. There were alot of brothers and sisters. Something else interesting happened too, this one guy thought that I was filipiono. It all good though, I'm not trippin about it. Uhm...let's see...what else happened? Nothing much besides that I guess. I'll update the blog from time to time to let my friends know what's going on with me, insha'Allah. Talk to you later!