All's well

Let's see...what have I been up to? Well for one I'm still looking for a job. How depressing!! Insha'Allah, when it is time for me to find a job i will find one. I just wish that that I could find one though...I would make it a lot easier for my mother who is stuggling so hard right now. I feel so bad about being here free loading. I have a feeling that Allah subhannahu wa ta'aala will bless me because insha'Allah ta'aala He sees that I want to not only help myself but her also.

One good thing about the whole thing is that being home a lot has given me a chance to get better situated as far as establishing regular times at which I read the Qur'an. I guess maybe it's part of Allah ta'aala's plan for me. On the surface, it's been tough for me not having any income, but it's allowed me to cultivate my imaan and become a better muslim. Ma sha' Allah, I have taught all of my younger brothers and sisters to read arabic! It's so funny because the other week I taught my youngest brother how to read the basmallah and he's walking around all the time saying "bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Raheem!" Haha..he's such a character. It makes me feel good too because they always tell me that they are happy that I'm there. But my baby brother, he's off track from his school. Since he's off of school he is usually home during the times that jummah is. He hates when I tell him "let's go!" hahaha. But he comes anyway. I think it's better for him too because he never goes to a church even though my mom's says she's christian now. I don't know.

Talking about my mother, it's so weird. Lately she's been saying stuff that I have never heard a christian say. Like for one she says that she's sure that Rasool Allah (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam) is a messenger of God. She puts a christian twist on it always. For example, she always says "well...we know that the Qur'an was influenced by his (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam) cultural biases and that you have to take that into account when reading the Qur'an" but when i tell her that "God is not influenced by his (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam) culture and if the Qur'an is God's verbatim words then you can't say that that it is culturally influenced." It really confuses me when she says stuff like that. Don't get me wrong...she is not wanting to become muslim...but i think that she's trying to reconcile my beliefs with her own... but...I'm not sure what's she's trying to do. Allah knows best i guess.

Or like she'll say something about the prophet (sal allahu 'alayhi wa salam)that is very negative and then I will tell her the truth of the matter and then she will get mad and say "see...this is the problem i have with muslims...they try to shy away from the facts of the matter" even though i just told her what's the truth of the situation. I don't know. My mom is complicated. Al-hamdulillah though besides all of this stuff at home, i've gotten a chance to meet a few brothers at the masjid. They have really helped me as far continuing pursuit of knowledge. They told me about a good website that has a lot of useful info. I'll paste it here in case anyone want to see it for themselves: http://www.qss.org/. It helps me out a lot because it allows me to hear things and talk during those times when i need it most. Also it is a website that gives knowledge on a lot of things. Haha...i sound like an advertisement. Okay...i'm babbling now...I will keep my blog up to date from time to time insha'Allah.